Archive

18. world's worst cookie
17. bad moon unicorn
16. the prophetic physician
15. world's lamest toy
14. world's ugliest lamp
13. anti-terror trash cans
12. dead guy frame
11. car turntable
10. dog dancing
9. seeing-eye horses
8. the inappropriate logo
7. the catalog catalog
6. the modern day racist
5. freshstart network
4. baby-vac
3. beefalo
2. the marked bible
1. mcdonalds ring

THE MCDONALD'S 10-YEAR SERVICE RING

So there I am standing on the uptown 6 train, when I look at the guy's hand standing next to me as it slipped down the pole towards mine. What do I see? A gold McDonald's ring with a diamond chip in it! I mistakenly thought that maybe the guy just thought it would be cool to buy some ring off the street that featured the McDonalds logo (after all, I was eyeing nice Taco Bell medallion last week.) So, of course, I go home and jump on the Internet and find nothing at all. Hmmm, where would they sell a cheesy-ass, gold McDonalds ring? Duh, e-bay, of course. And there it was, the McDonalds ten years of service ring (in fact, there were two for sale.)

I'm just wondering if McDonalds actually thinks its employees appreciate a $25 ring after spending ten years getting splattered by boiling fry grease and mopping up vomit in the stalls. Anyway, if you ever spy a fellow commuter with one of these rings, congratulate him/her on ten years of dedicated service to a company that is responsible for destroying the rain forest and making America the most obese country in the world.