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Sometimes there are
movie concepts that are just too lame to be true. Then there's Jack
Frost. Basically Michael Keaton is in the movie for five minutes,
dies and comes back as the voice of a giant animatronic/computer-generated
snowman. Cool concept, right? Anyway, Keaton plays your typical big-hearted,
well-meaning father who tries to do the right thing but always ends
up screwing over his wife and kid. He doesn't show up to his kid's
hockey game, he misses the special dinner with the wife (Kelly Preston)
and generally acts like an immature fuck-up. So, in typical movie
fashion, Keaton is right on the verge of finally making the right
decision for once, and he dies without anyone knowing that he was
finally going to make the ultimate sacrifice for his family: giving
up his one shot at fame to be with his wife. Famous for what, you
ask. Somehow he and his drinking buddies were going to be signed to
a huge record contract. Their band, which is a lousy Bruce Willis
Return of Bruno-ish sounding blues band is somehow discovered in one
of the divy bars they play in. It's all kind of ridiculous really.
So Keaton comes back a year after his death as a snowman in his family's
front yard. Why a snowman? Because his name is Jack Frost, of course.
Honestly, it makes no fuckin' sense. The writers had to think of some
device that would give Jack a time limit to make his son understand
how much he loves him. So, when it gets warm out, Jack's a puddle.
So, of course, nobody believes the kid that his dad is a giant talking
snowman. Everyone, including his mother just thinks he's misses his
dad and is making things up. Of course, he's not -- and this is where
the message gets garbled. I understand that the movie is trying to
show how people cope with the death of a loved one, but what if that
loved one neglected you when they were alive? I'm sorry, but people
don't get a second chance to come back and set everything straight.
The guy was an absentee father when he was alive, why does he get
to make up for it now that he's dead? What kind of message does this
send to grieving kids? It's OK your asshole dad's dead, he's going
to come back and treat you much nicer when he's transformed into a
snowman, or a roach or whatever. I never saw Ghost Dad, but I can
only assume that the two films have some overlapping themes. Actually,
the scariest thing about this movie isn't the thin plot, the fact
that the kid doesn't piss his pants at the site of a talking snowman
or Michael Keaton's horrible singing -- it's the snowman himself.
I'm not sure who the graphic artist is who created this monstrosity,
but it will probably be a long time before he works again. The thing
is creepy and homicidal looking. Sometimes sentimental is good, sometimes
it's effective, but sometimes it's just plain stupid. [HBO]
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