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(1998)
rt: 114m **½
Director: Tim Burton
Starring: Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter, Christopher Lee
When I heard Tim Burton was remaking
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (or Willy
Wonka as the case may be), I almost wet myself.
One of my favorite childhood movies remade by the wackiest director
ever? It was a match made in heaven. And Johnny "best actor of his
generation" Depp to boot? It was a can't miss. Well, folks, I'm here
to tell you that sometimes a winning formula does not a great film
make. I liken it to this one soccer team I was on in high school that
was packed with awesome players. These guys were fast, could dribble
and pass and shoot. They also surfed and smoked a ton of pot, but
that was inconsequential. We won like one game the whole season. The
lesson here is that the sum of the whole is not always equal to its
parts--or however that goes. Witness this mess of a movie. The storyline
is pretty much the same, but adds in some back-story on Willy Wonka
that I don't recall from the original. Charlie is like this amazing
angel, and the other children represent four of the seven deadly sins,
including gluttony, greed, pride and whatever. Assuming you already
know these childrens' fates, I'm wondering who these little lessons
(as laid out in the Oompa Loompa's songs) are for. Certainly not for
the child who would most benefit from them, as he or she is already
gone at that point. And certainly not for Charlie, who is seemingly
Christ-like in his selfless kindness. Are they technically breaking
the fourth wall and appealing directly to the audience? Perhaps that
is the case, as the characters in the movie seem to shrug off what
are horrifying things happening to their fellow factory tourists,
and move on as though they didn't just see someone turn into a giant
piece of purple fruit. And on with the show ... Johnny Depp, with
his creepy she-male haircut and giant chompers, is honestly hard to
look at. It makes the whole movie unappetizing. His goofy voice and
mannerisms (which aren't that far off from his Ed
Wood character) are just plain cartoonish. I almost long
for Depp to quit playing androids and go back to something real like
Gilbert
Grape. He's become an automaton, and the whole thing is getting
old. Perhaps it's time that he take a break from Tim Burton and sign
on for another
Lasse Hallström snoozefest, or gritty, old-school Scorsese
flick (if those still exist). Aren't there any good junkie films left
in the queue somewhere? Can't he knock out a couple teeth, lose 50
pounds and put stitches in his face like Jon
Voight in Runaway
Train? I just felt more creeped out than entertained by this
thing. All those Deep Roy facsimiles made me want to just hit the
stop button. There's just something wrong about the man, and seeing
200 of him doing his horrible dances and really bad lip-syncing made
thing go from boring to unbearable. Somewhere Gene
Wilder is spinning in his grave. Oh, wait ... [DVD, MF]
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