||I think this was supposed
to be a comedy. I say "I think" and "supposed to be"
because after watching it I drank a gallon and a half of Drano, slit
my wrists, flung myself from the roof and then lit the neighbor's
cat on fire using my own fresh bile as an accelerant. Are comedies
supposed to make you do that?
So I guess Jack
Black wasn't available. Thus the bizarre and disturbing-looking
Jack Black/Meatloaf clone, Dan
Fogler, in the lead role. And I guess there weren't any
writers available (during the strike?), as this script was clearly
written by retarded monkeys on black tar heroine. How else to explain
the complete lack of plot, horrific jokes, awful dialogue and more
punches and kicks to the nuts than should be allowed by law. (When
in doubt have a little girl hit an adult in the balls--always a crowd
To say this movie is a waste of time is to disparage the word "waste."
I'm having trouble coming up with many films I hated more; films that
tried so very little, went for the cheap gay gag, nut shot, fat dude
in tight clothes, and, worst of all, Christopher Walken playing Christopher
Walken playing Christopher Walken. I think that was literally the
pitch for this movie: it's a movie about ping pong, but we're going
to have Christopher Walken play this underground crime lord, who,
get this, is kind of gay and wears a kimono and wacky Asian kabuki
hair! Ha! Yeah, yeah, we'll get Jack Black in there too as a fat guy
obsessed with Def
Leppard who used to be a ping pong champ and wants to make a comeback
in the underground ping pong league.
This thing is somehow getting worse the more I think about it. With
ping pong they've now officially exhausted the jokey sport genre (what
with the whole string of awful Will
Ferrell, goofy out of shape old guy as athlete movies) so hopefully
they'll just move on. Seriously, think about the absolute crap that's
been produced using this completely played plot line. Next we'll have
Richter as a professional beach volleyball stud (Lump, Set,
the Entertainer as an Olympic water polo player (Where My
Horse At?) and, of course, Jack Black as an X-Games skateboarder
(Whole-Pipe or Skate or Die Laughing). Boooooo!