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Mmmm boots. Wow, that
steak tasted like and old boot. I think I'm gonna boot. I'm gonna
shove my boot so far up your ass, you'll be tasting leather. Yeah,
not such great associations when your place is serving food. I'm sure
I could plumb the depths of the vast World Wide Web and find the story
of why this is called what it is--but speculation is so much more
fun. Aw, screw it, I found it: the boots represent the geographical
shapes of Italy and Louisiana. Um, okay. Saying Louisiana looks like
a boot is the equivalent of saying California looks like a bottle
of chardonnay. To me Louisiana looks like a wrecked 1970’s Oldsmobile
or a manual meat grinder. I guess it’s just a matter of perspective.
The other odd thing is this joint’s naming convention for their
pizzas. They name the pizzas after random movie characters, entertainers,
animals, etc. who, as far as I can tell, have absolutely no connection
to pizza or Louisiana. For instance, I had a slice of the Tony Clifton
(wild mushrooms, Vidalia onions, sweet red pepper pesto, and mozzarella)
and a slice of the Mr. Pink (marinated chicken, plum tomatoes, fresh
garlic, and mozzarella). One is named after Andy Kaufman’s alter
ego, and one after a character in Reservoir Dogs. Great. Despite this
kitschy lameness, the pizza is very tasty and flavorful in a way that
no other pizza around is. In fact, it’s not really pizza at
all, but cornmeal crust (that’ll chew the heck out of the roof
of your mouth if you’re not careful) with spicy sauce and a
whole bunch of topping crap. Like most pizza places in NYC, they keep
a bunch of cold slices sitting around, and only heat them up when
ordered. That may work for your typical pizza, but this stuff is more
like brick oven, and really suffers for the time outside the oven.
I’ll have to try a fresh pie sometime and see if it makes a
difference. [MF]
Other Locations:
Two
Boots - Grand Central
Two Boots - To Go-Go
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