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In my thirteen plus
years in New York I've never once been in this place--nor have I ever
wanted to get anywhere the hell near it. Sports fanatics in all their
guises really kind of drive me up the wall. And where would I find
more annoying fans than across the street from the stadium of the
team for which the constituency is most likely rooting? I mean who
needs to go get liquored up before going to get liquored up, really?
Certainly not some fat dude in a Kevin Maas jersey. And I've never
felt the need to hang with mr irrelevant either. So what led me here?
Sheer boredom during a Yankees/Devil Rays game and a serious case
of RLS is what. Going over with a gang of other drunks around the
sixth inning or so, we found ourselves in a place that looked more
like a stable than a bar. It honestly reminded me of this horrific
strip club we went to in South Carolina where the patrons were allowed
to (and many obliged) bring their own Styrofoam coolers filled with
domestic suds while ogling completely nude girls, most of whom couldn't
have been a day over eighteen. The place is like a giant pen that
looks to have been constructed from left over cardboard and tin, and
stunk of ass and poo. There were mops sitting in open slop sinks,
crap all over the place and some bouncers who looked like they just
wanted to punch someone. Look-e-loos peeked their heads in to check
the place out, mostly pinching their faces at the stink, and getting
the hell away as quickly as possible. Luckily I was so lit at that
point, I could have drank beer in a septic tank, but even my drunk-ass
self has some standards. I guess it serves its purpose, but the fact
that the health department hasn't closed it down is just down right
shocking. [MF]
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