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It's been months, and
I'm just coming to after receiving my Picholine dinner bill. It was
obviously my brain's way of protecting myself from the shock. That
said, my recollection of the evening is spotty (which has nothing
to do with the two bottles of $100+ wine we ordered) and filled with
what can only be described as flashing horrific snippets of time in
which I see myself flipping tables, screaming "No!" over
and over again into the face of some guy who called himself a fromagier
and ultimately bludgeoning an older gentleman with a crooked toupee
who looked like a Jewish Andy Griffith with a block of nice Alsatian
cheddar from said fromagier's little cart. Of course this was the
tail end of the evening. Until then I settled in to the beige surroundings
with Ms. Hipster and a couple friends for an evening of opulent tasting
menu dining. Now we're no spring chickens, but we were easily a Britney,
plus half a Dick Clark, younger than anyone in the joint. No wonder
they decorated the place like my grandma's condo (and she's been dead
for 15 years). I understand from other websites that this is actually
the remodeled look, which is pretty damn scary. The windowless dining
room wasn't doing the decor any favors either. Aside from the smacking
of dentures and a snotty hanky snort or two, the surroundings were
perfectly calming, though. We settled in with our menus and a taste
for tasting menu--if you know what I'm saying. So, in order, I ate
squash soup, risotto, short rib and cheese. All of it, I have to say,
was damn good. Now, I've had some not so great experiences with short
rib of late, and had all but given up on the stuff, but this one brought
me back into the fold. It was just a beautiful little brick of meaty
tastiness. And you seriously cannot make squash soup and risotto anything
but awesome if you do it right. The cheese was somewhat of a disappointment,
but after my first real cheese experience at Gramercy
Tavern, everything else has been cut-rate. We seemed to outlast
most of the octogenarians in the joint, and were some of the last
people there when they laid down the piece of paper that almost ended
it all. I'm just glad that no old people got in my way when I went
into my blind rage and started sputtering about capital gains and
shite. [MF]
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