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Apparently being old
school allows you to jack up your prices. If Tony Bennett, that whore,
has dined at your establishment more than twice, not only are you
obligated to put his signed photograph on the wall, but you must also
triple the cost of chicken parmesan. Patsy's is a perfect example
of New York run amok. Take a passable Italian joint, keep it open
for more than twenty years, fill it with some gaudy Italian-y things,
say some famous, dead Italians ate there (and supposedly liked it),
and charge any and every yahoo who walks through the door as if they're
supping at some classy French joint run by one of those cooking show
dudes. The key word in that last, very long, sentence was "passable,"
because that's about all the food was. "But, sir, this is Patsy's!
We're a New York institution; our requirement to actually try ran
out years ago." I've certainly had better Italian food at many of
those $11.99-an-entree places Manhattan is so chock full of. I don't
need your gold leaf and your cheeseball mirrors and your creep-filled,
waxy crowd with their suits and their facelifts. Sure, you jar and
sell your own sauce, but that's somewhat akin to American Airlines
selling their own line of frozen dinners. So we ask: old school, or
just worn out? [MF]
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