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To think that a large
section of America thinks of this shit as food is an insult to food.
To think that Kentucky Fried Chicken could fool every stupid American
into feeling better about their artery-clogging menu by changing their
name to KFC is an insult to stupid people. Actually, I seem to be
the only person in America who didn't grow up eating this crap. Maybe
it was because of my left-wing Cali parents, but more likely it was
because I don't recall ever seeing one anywhere around my neighborhood.
Unfortunately there's one in my current work 'hood, and I couldn't
be sorrier that I discovered it. Well, it was more like I was dragged
there kicking and screaming. Not only is this a KFC, but some sort
of KFC express, complete with a limited menu and subterranean dining.
The smell in this joint is enough to set your nosehair aflame and
make you wish you had been born without olfactory senses. It shares
space with some equally low-rent establishments that cater to non-descript
lumps of flesh and their co-workers. I found the one non-fried item
on the menu and discovered, not to my surprise, that the chicken sandwich
tastes very much like the chicken sandwich at McDonald's,
Roy
Rogers and Kenny
Roger's Roasters. Somewhere there must be a giant freezer truck
making its rounds with a ton of over-spiced, salty chicken patties
with which to poison the general public. The things are barely edible,
but places like McD's and KFC need at least one thing on their menu
that they can claim isn't deep fried in oil. It's like providing that
one "vegetarian" dish at a steakhouse--nobody comes there
to eat that, but they have to have it there just so they can say they
offer it. So, I guess if you want to slowly kill yourself with fatbomb
poultry, then by all means hit the KFC--but I'd steer clear of this
one. [MF]
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