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It took everything I
had not to turn down the invite to go here for lunch. If it weren't
my boss doing the inviting, and his credit card doing the paying,
I never would have stepped foot anywhere near anything that had something
to do with Rosanna
Scotto. I have a habit of yelling at my television whenever her
plastic face flashes on screen during "24" (or whatever other Fox
show I happen to be watching before the 10 o'clock news) teasing poison
salad bars or killer dog poop or a child's cold medicine that can
strike you blind by just glancing at it. She, along with Ernie Anastos,
make up the empty-headed "news" team that is the perfect argument
for exactly what is wrong with dumbed-down newsatainment industry
these days. Ratings over integrity--always a winning equation for
the people. My personal biases aside, Fresco is like every suit-guy's
dream: there are nothing but blue and black suits as far as the eye
can see. The problem here is that I wear jeans to work, as do most
of the folks who joined me at our large, round table under a gaudy
mural of god-knows-what. (I'm recalling like frolicking nubile cherubs
or something, but that's more a fantasy than a recollection.) In fact,
the space kind of felt like some overdone home store in Jersey. And
then there was the food... And as much as it pains me to say it, the
stuff was pretty damn decent. The fried calamari, while typical, was
well done, and my Caesar salad was very Caesar-y. My entree, a large
piece of salmon with a good sauce and veggies, was perfectly cooked
and soft and flaky as an art school co-ed. But--and this where I want
to just smack the Brooklyn out of Rosanna--that piece of fish cost
thirty-eight bucks. Even if it was good, it wasn't four iTunes albums
good. Apparently the Fresco folks know their clientele, and are aware
that they aren't really charging individuals, but raping corporate
expense accounts and setting Amex cards aflame all over Midtown Manhattan.
I'm sure this is a totally understood and commonly practiced scam,
but it just seems so much more annoying when it's being executed by
the most dim-witted family in late night mock-news. [MF]
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