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If you looked up "overpriced
meat joint" in the dictionary, you'd find a photo of Tom Colicchio
rolling naked in a giant pile of Craftsteak Benjamins. There would
be a secondary entry with a frowny-faced picture of me with my pockets
turned inside-out and a big shrug that basically said, "what the fuck!?"
Of course nothing says classy dining like a big, modern space practically
on the West Side Highway. The soaring ceiling and enormous space (complete
with open raw bar) gives some majesty to the joint, but somehow makes
it feel a little more like a banquet hall than a fancy place you might
want to drop sixty bucks on a hunk of medium-rare cow flesh. The evening
started off relatively promising for me with a nice lobster bisque,
but Ms. Hipster had a frise salad that was all frise and no salad.
Nothing like paying fifteen clams for a plate of anemic lettuce. I
went for what turned out to be the cheapest cut of the meat on the
menu (although it's barely a cut of meat at all): the beef short rib.
Normally a tasty bit of pillowy niceness, this oddball tureen of limp
meat was more fat than beef, and brought back awful memories of my
pre-stomach flu short rib drool-fest at Cookshop.
I'm sad to say that this may officially be my last foray into the
short rib arena. My dining partner ordered the sixty-four-dollar t-bone.
Dude, I said sixty-four dollars! That's like ten rides on the Cyclone
in Coney Island, or, um like two steaks at any other good steak house.
And the thing was puny and included exactly zero sides. Despite the
preposterous prices, there were some weird Euro couples hanging out
with their kids as if they supped like this on a nightly basis. I
suppose there really are folks out there who can drop three hundred
and something in cold hard cash each and every night with the rugrats
in tow and not even blink, but these are the same people who put dog's
heads on stakes and molest the help, and just have their peers and
parents call them "spirited." Even the desert (three sorbets of varying
intensity) was practically inedible. I know we chose to come to this
place, but it seems almost criminal the way the congenial host of
Top Chef
took us for our hard-earned meat money. [MF]
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