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Ah, the Frenchies have
it good. They work like 20 hour weeks, usurp credit for other country's
military actions and get to sit around eating baguettes while others
die to protect them from aggressors. It must be nice. Despite the
somewhat aggravating attitude towards killing people and defending
themselves (who doesn't like shooting Nazis?), they make some good
grub. Artisanal, for instance, is especially good at making cheese.
They make the curdled milk of at least four mammals, but we'll get
back to that later. The space at this joint is a little bit on the
cold side, but is sufficiently decorative to make you hang in there
to see what it's all about. I, myself, had the skate with blood oranges,
of course. It seems I can't avoid that damn fish these days... because
it fuckin' rocks! And it did rock, as did the steak and burgundy sauce.
They have these cheesy-poof things that are like the delicious French
version of the hush puppy and some cheese fondue that is well worth
the 35 point cholesterol spike and possible coronary embolism. And
now back to the cheese--the thing that makes this place not only different
but fun. There's an entire menu filled with cheese, with commentary
on each kind. Things like "earthy and stinky in an unshowered hippy
kind of way" and "kind of like a sea turtle shitting in your mouth"
and "like a stale fart from grandma." Okay, these weren't the real
comments, but there were some pretty funny ones. The fun part is having
everyone from your party pick something they think sounds good and
then sharing everyone's choices. I must say that most of the ones
we got were great, but there was one that honestly tasted like a mildewy
sweat sock. So, you lactose intolerant freaks are out of luck, but
all of you fat putzes with no reason to care about your hearts rejoice!
[MF]
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